Stephen's Blogs – Stephen Hon's Blogs (韓啟年)

“DEAR” is the formation of 4 alphabets “D”, “E”, “A”, “R” in capital letters, “d”, “e”, “a”, “r” in small letters. When all these alphabets combined together it will form the word “DEAR” or “dear” Ok… After the creation of this word… how you view it? First let check what the dictionary have to say about this word.

–adjective
1.    beloved or loved: a dear friend.
2.    (used in the salutation of a letter as an expression of affection or respect or as a conventional greeting): Dear Sir.
3.    precious in one’s regard; cherished: our dearest possessions.
4.    heartfelt; earnest: one’s dearest wish.
5.    high-priced; expensive: The silk dress was too dear.
6.    charging high prices: That shop is too dear for my budget.
7.    excessive; high: a dear price to pay for one’s independence.
8.    Obsolete. difficult to get; scarce.
9.    Obsolete. worthy; honorable.
–noun
10.    a person who is good, kind, or generous: You’re a dear to help me with the work.
11.    a beloved one.
12.    (sometimes initial capital letter) an affectionate or familiar term of address (sometimes offensive when used to a stranger, subordinate, etc.)
–adverb
13.    dearly; fondly.
14.    at a high price: That painting cost me dear.
–interjection
15.    (used as an exclamation of surprise, distress, etc.): Oh dear, what a disappointment! Dear me! What’s all that noise?

That what the dictionary have explained and now my story about this word. I recalled back I first used this word during “snail mail” correspondence when I was a teenager (in the 80s) where having pen-friends is  a hot wave that moment. Most magazine have a special column listed out people name and address for those who like to have friends through letter writing. If you like to write, you can make lot of friends. That moment no computer, no internet, no broadband, no mobile, no SMS. All you need is lot letter pads, stamps and envelopes.

I will always start like this…. (some example )

Dear Caroline,

I have found your name and address in (magazine name) and like to be your friend … bla blah… etc

As I don’t know whether the person I wrote to will reply or not… 1st letter always short and just simple introduction. Then for the next person… I will copy everything again… the only thing changed is the name and address. Why copy? When you don’t have photostat machine… this the only way to do it. That moment I also knew that if photostat…. people who received it will know that you are not sincere.

After finished everything then I will be very busy putting stamps on the envelope and the next day I pushed everything inside the mailbox at the post office. I always knew when I need to buy the stamps again Then what next? Sit at home and wait loh… it took around 3 to 7 days to get replied during those days.

Because of large bulk of letters sent out sure the one who replied will be many though not 100% replied! The moment I saw those letters…. so excited loh but to reply all is the nightmare! Receiving is fun but writing back lazy.. so how? Finally have to choose the best introduction, then only replied and those “not qualified” goes in the dustbin.

From 1 piece to 2 then 3… and so on. My record was 15 pieces in a replied. From the word “Dear Caroline” became “Dearest Caroline” (now knew how to add the “est” to the end of “dear” word to made it “dearest”. Wah say! The receiver also change from “Dear” to Dearest”

1st letter end with “Yours sincerely” later became “Yours” Because too long so finally lazy to even write “sincerely” so just omit it. This when “Yours” came to light! The other party also the same… Ha! Ha! When I am in Form 1… school life was easy going… no much activities and homeworks but when you go Form 2… things became to change… more schoolworks…. writing letter aslo take longer.

First…. replied the same day after received but later it drag to 3 days only reply then 1 weeks… 2 weeks later 1 month. This is when one shot I wrote up 15 pages so do my pen friends. We getting busier when we grew older and finally it just end there. We never meet and some just stopped when shifted to new places. Just lost contact. That was the day when writing and receiving letters was fun. Gone are those days. Nowadays “snail mail” became less popular.

Then come the 90s where people getting crazy about mobile phone or even fixed line (home) phone. I remembered that when you flipped open any magazine you can find people easily displayed their phone numbers in search of friendship. When home fixed line for local calls are flat rate. that time.. my record of conversation was 8 hours non stop… from 12 midnight to 8am until the holder of the phone & ears  also burning HOT.. why not hot…? Talked until nothing to talk… taboo thing also come in. What taboo things? The one SX18 naughty naughty one lah… he! he! That moment not only “dear” or “dearest” …. honey, sayang, love, baby also come in…  until your whole body have goose bump when you listen to it!  Ha! Ha! Gone was the time for “cooking phone porridge” => (hook on the phone non stop) when Telekom review it local calls and chargeable by minutes.

Then come the internet and email where you can send smiley code, picture, movies to add more personal touch but was spoiled by the spam mails you received. Your dear dear email lost in several thousand junk mails Now more people prefer to SMS rather than email.

What I try to tell now is about these points when referring to the word “Dear”

11.    a beloved one.
12.    (sometimes initial capital letter) an affectionate or familiar term of address (sometimes offensive when used to a stranger, subordinate, etc.)

What women want? ( Or what men want or don’t want? )

1. When you have a lover or girl friend, she will complain you did not love her enough when you less “dear”, “dear” her. You cannot even miss out the “dear” word in your SMS. If you do, your ears will suffer.
2. For those women you like (that not yet become your girl friend) you cannot “dear”, “dear” her. Initially, just before you used the word “dear” she replied your SMS. Later when you add the “dear” word in your SMS, she did not reply. If you send her more “dear”, “dear” words… She ignore you. She began to think… you’re not my special… why “dear”, “dear” me?
3. For those woman (name as “A”) who like you, she will “dear”, “dear” you until you “beh tahan!” (cannot compromise) If you not like her, you are the one ignoring her and you continue “dear”, “dear” the woman you like (name as “B”) but she does not attracted or even like you. You in return being ignored. Finally A get hurt and disappointed by your reaction, you are getting hurt by B reaction while she being happy with the one who love her (whom she also like)

Why this happen? Why “dear” word became so sensitive in man woman relationship today? “Dear” is just an English word but why are you so complicated?

Lastly my final comment is…. I don’t mind women “dear”, “dear” me either she like me or not but surely I do mind when men who “dear”, “dear” me as it give me goose bump all over my body. Come on! I am a straight. I LIKE & LOVE ONLY woman! Of course I like to “dear”, “dear” the woman I like…. does she like or not was another story